Anger and Revenge
No one makes us angry. Anger is our own emotional response to some action or event. More often than not, our angry feelings are based on a misinterpretation of what someone said or did. Expressing anger tends to prolong and reinforce our anger rather than purge it. Angry words and actions are much more likely to escalate hostilities and block communication than to solve a problem. Whether between parent and child, spouses, friends, or nations, expressions of anger divide us and drive us toward open hostility.
It is all too easy to react to life's annoyances and disappointments with anger. It is far more challenging, but much better, to react with understanding and empathy. In this way, we can quickly settle disputes and avoid turning minor incidents into major battles. The humble demeanor is a perfect tool for avoiding disputes and hard feelings.
A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back. (NAS, Proverbs 29:11)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (NIV, James 1:19-20)
Holding a grudge can consume us with hatred, blocking out all enjoyment of life. A grudge clouds our judgment and may lead us to an act of revenge that can never be undone.
"'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. (NIV, Leviticus 19:18)
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. (NIV, Proverbs 29:22)
Bearing a grudge and seeking revenge are never appropriate responses to a perceived wrong. A grudge destroys the grudge-holder with bitterness; revenge only escalates hostilities. Jesus told us we must reconcile with our adversaries, forgive their transgressions, and let go of the anger that may tempt us to commit an act of revenge:
"Under the laws of Moses the rule was, 'If you murder, you must die.' But I have added to that rule and tell you that if you are only angry, even in your own home, you are in danger of judgment! If you call your friend an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse him, you are in danger of the fires of hell. (TLB, Matthew 5:21-22)
Returning love for hatred can often cool the fires of anger. It is very difficult not to respond to anger with even more anger. However, when we respond to anger with empathy and love, we can often break the cycle of hatred and convert even our enemies into friends. Jesus gave us the unique command to love even our enemies:
"There is a saying, 'Love your friends and hate your enemies.' But I say: Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way you will be acting as true sons of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust too. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even scoundrels do that much. If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the heathen do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. (TLB, Matthew 5:43-48)
By humility we acknowledge that God created us for his purposes and not for our self-glorification. By humility we acknowledge the dignity of all God's people. By humility we cool the angry passions of others. By humility we can turn enemies into friends.
A humble demeanor is not a denial of our worth as individuals. Rather, it is the tool that allows us, insofar as possible, to be on good terms with all persons.
Related verses: Deuteronomy 22:1-2, Psalms 37:7-13, Psalms 147:5-6, Proverbs 11:12, Proverbs 12:13-14, Proverbs 12:16, Proverbs 14:17, Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 15:28, Proverbs 17:13-14, Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 19:1, Proverbs 19:11, Proverbs 20:3, Proverbs 20:15, Proverbs 20:19, Proverbs 20:22, Proverbs 21:23-24, Proverbs 25:11-12, Proverbs 25:28, Proverbs 26:12, Matthew 5:38-42, Matthew 7:12, Matthew 20:25-28, Luke 6:20-26, Luke 6:41-42, Luke 14:8-11, Luke 22:25-27, John 13:13-15, John 13:34-35, John 15:12, Acts 20:35, Romans 2:1, Romans 12:3, Romans 12:14-21, Romans 15:1-2, 1 Corinthians 3:18-21, 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, Galatians 5:19-23, Galatians 5:26, Ephesians 4:29, Ephesians 4:31-32, Philippians 2:3-8, Colossians 3:5-9, Colossians 3:12-14, Hebrews 10:22-24, James 1:26-27, James 3:13-18, 1 Peter 3:8-11, 1 Peter 5:5-6.
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