BECAME A SINGLE WOMAN.

Becoming a single woman is a personal journey of self-discovery and growth. It can be both empowering and liberating to embrace the independence and freedom that comes with being single. It provides an opportunity to focus on personal goals, build new relationships, and nurture self-care. Being single allows one to take control of their own happiness and make decisions without compromise. It can also be a time of healing and reflection after a breakup or divorce. Ultimately, becoming a single woman is about embracing one's individuality and creating a fulfilling life on one's own terms.

I want to express my gratitude to God for the opportunity to write this blog. I am a Christian woman, mother, I am here to give my life in service to God, and His people. I dedicated this blog to all the single women. Remember your worth is far more precious than rubies and nothing is comparable to it. Proverbs 3:15. Also, the Bible tells us he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD and he that puts away a good wife puts away good from his house. Proverbs 18:22. 

Proverbs chapter 31, make me want to be the reason that my children smile when they wake up. And ladies, if you have a man in your life that’s your only duty and focus, and you have to start a goal to become great, so proverbs 31, is for you. We have women; we have a choice to make to be a good woman or a bad woman. If you want to turn it into spiritual terms to be a godly woman or evil woman. And I have that example for you in this blog. Note everything I’m going to say, you find them in the bible. This blog helps you to focus on the good even when it is difficult and focus on loving even when your heart feels heavy. The article also will help you with the idea that something amazing will happen during your day. 

I am sharing my story with you because I know there are a lot of good women that go through the same situation. I came to encourage you to put God first so that He may be able to lift you up and to make something great in you and do time. Never let yourself be disheartened in life. BECAME A Single Woman It’s a painful road to walk in, but the good news is that we’re never alone. One thing you need to do is trust and focus on God, your children, and yourself, because everything will work for good to those who love God. Romans 8.28- And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Listen, everything happens for a reason. And the Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Proverbs 16.4.

How it all began.

I was young and naive when I first met Jean. We didn’t understand anything about each other, but we felt comfortable around each other. No matter our age, men will always be men—something we both were too young to fully comprehend. So women can't change that in my experience. Before getting married, it was easy to feel romantic. However, after getting married, the opposite happened. Feelings of bitterness, anger, doubt, and pain arose. One thing I’ve learned is that we must take responsibility for our own life and happiness. When unhappiness knocks at the door of your heart, remember a merry heart is like a medicine. 

It was a completely unexpected turn of events. How I woke up to what I didn’t know about Jean. Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? I thought I knew a lot about Jean's inner life. I was so surprised. I make many mistakes in my relationship with Jean. These things have hopefully helped me to better appreciate and support him. I began to realize that there’s so much about men that we don’t understand. I’ve learned the more we understand the men in our lives, the better we can support and love them in the way they need to be loved. To be a happy wife cannot depend on your husband. When you place your hope in your marriage to make you happy, you will be disappointed. But when you put your hope in God, you will find enough joy in Him. When that happens, and you let God be your source of happiness. Isaiah 43:18-19 says forget the former things do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  And don’t let doubt get in the way of your happiness. I was a happy wife until one day I became an unhappy wife. Every day, every month, every year you have with your husband is precious because the years are short. Psalm 39:5 you have made my days a mere hand breadth, the span of my years is as nothing before you, everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure. The Bible says we are not our own, we were bought with a price. Life is short, no matter how long you live. Live your days as if they were bonus days. When you feel abandoned or disappointed as a wife, God will lift you up. And God will bless you. When you turn to God, He turns everything around. God is true and good.

Let me tell you how I got here. It all started one night after Jean and I finished having a very great evening and a wonderful time together. We got home and we entered our room immediately. His phone rings and a message pops up, and he replies I love you. I stood beside him then as a servant of the Lord. God lets me see His message because He reveals His counsel to His servants. Amos 3:7. So at that moment I was trying to take the phone from him and fight for the rest of the night until morning then he gave up the phone to me and I read all the conversations. It was a very painful moment in my life. You might ask yourself why the hell I read them, right? It took me a while to figure out how to handle what I found. Because you have to always know where you stand for you to be able to move on. If that makes sense to you. Then I returned the phone to him without saying a word to him, no questions asked, but I was hurting through my soul. The next morning, I continue doing my wife's duty like nothing ever happens because the LORD is my strength, the reason for my song because He has saved me. I praise and honor the LORD. HE is my GOD and the GOD of my ancestors. Exodus 15:2. Despite the lingering pain, I remain resilient and unwavering. According to Habakkuk 3:19, the Almighty assists me in finding stability amidst life's challenges, enabling me to ascend the mountains.

A few months later things got worse. I couldn't handle it any longer. Jean's behavior remained the same, so I made the decision to kick him out of the house. Unfortunately, this turned out to be the worst decision I've ever made without seeking permission from God. After I acted, I called two of my sisters. The first question they asked was if God told me to do it. I replied no, but I said that Jesus would have to do something else based on Matthew 6:8, which says that our Father knows what we need even before we ask Him. That was funny right, but I was serious because I had enough, and I was tired of the situations. Then I became very afraid of my action and started seeking the LORD for forgiveness and to bring my husband back home. Because my desire is to be an example like the 15 amazing women in the Bible to learn from and admire. First Mary of Nazareth, the mother of JESUS gave birth to the world’s savior. Ruth the Moabite was an example of unwavering faith and bravery in the Bible. And Mary Magdalene is a misunderstood Biblical figure, but she was certainly a faithful follower of JESUS. And Hannah desperately prayed for a son and promised that she would dedicate his life to GOD. She kept her word. There was a part of my life that was desperately praying for a daughter. For almost three years GOD was faithful to me the same as Hannah. Amen. To continue with the amazing woman named Deborah, I named my daughter after her. Deborah is known for being a compassionate leader. Esther, with the power of prayer and bravery, saved her people. Sarah Abraham's wife is an example of how GOD keeps His promises. Sarah gave birth to Isaac at 90 years old. Priscilla, the woman from Proverbs 31, is an example of a Godly wife in the Bible. When I got married, I studied women in the Bible, particularly Priscilla. I wanted to follow her example, so I dedicated myself to never harm my husband throughout our lifetime. Proverbs 31:12 says she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life. And the last two women I want to talk about are Leah and Rachel, who built the house of Israel.

I never wanted to follow the 10 worst women written in the Bible. For example, Gomer married the prophet Hosea; she abandoned him in order to pursue relationships with multiple lovers. Lot’s wife, who lived in a city of legendary wickedness, looked back. Delilah is the wicked girlfriend of a legendary but foolish strongman named Samson. Delilah also had a meager amount of money. Jezebel worshiped Baal having a neighbor killed because her weak-minded husband wanted the man's vineyard. Written on 1 king 16:29-43. She was found guilty of committing an atrocious crime: the ruthless murders of God's prophets. And Eve made the fatal mistake of listening to the serpent’s lie. Genesis 39:50. Also, David's wife Michal the story found on 2 Samuel 6:16 as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David and David was dancing before the LORD was despised by his wife. I did not want to be a kind of wife and I started to cry before GOD. During that time, family and friends were helping in prayers. Why do I keep praying? Because if it was the plans of the enemy, I did not want to lose my marriage without a fight after 15 years. Sometimes we must fight for what is ours. Anyway, I am a fighter in prayer, and I’m thankful and grateful for this gift from GOD to me. Every day, I kept forward moving praying with all my emotions - pain, grief, anger, and bitterness. However, I never allowed unforgiving to enter my heart. Yes, I did. I forgive Jean through it all in the name of JESUS. AMEN. 

After a year, Jean came back home. I thought we were going to unite and continue where we left off, but that was my idea not his. He started to act like a stranger when he got home. I can understand after what he did and my actions towards him, but that wasn’t the case at all. And I was fighting to make him feel comfortable in the house. He no longer desired to feel comfortable because he had a different plan, which I only found out when God revealed it to me once more. We were going to talk about it later. One day we were having a conversation, then he told me that he wanted to be like a roommate in the house with me. That was heartbreaking even though we did not know each other sexually since his return. I was scared and at the same time protecting myself. After our conversation I went and cried secretly. Just know I took all because I wasn’t trying to get something I didn’t have; I was keeping something I already had in my marriage for 15 years. So, I thought it was the plans of the enemy trying to destroy my marriage, but it was my husband himself destroying us. In John chapter 10, Jesus spoke about how the thief comes only to steal, and destroy. Satan is after your joy, your power, your peace, your courage, your faith, and after your goods. The Bible says he is after the word in your heart written on Mark 4:15. His intention is to selectively focus on and forcefully confront material possessions and physical belongings. Cars, finances, and physical bodies. Satan arrives with the intention of stealing, murdering, and annihilating. I mention Satan’s stealing to make us aware of his devices, so we can recognize them and overcome them. And instead of letting them keep us from victory and success. The Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 2:11 to defeat the devil and live the abundant life you need to know how Satan operates. Or then you will be one of those who blame GOD for what the devil is doing. It is written in Hosea 4:6 that people are destroyed because of a lack of knowledge. When we know right, we can choose to do right. I had chosen to do it right. I had never given up trying to make Jean feel comfortable even though it was hurting to watch his actions. And I gave him all the freedom he said I did not give him during our marriage.

Now I am getting to the point with you where GOD reveals to me what is really going on. I give him all the freedom, right. He started going out with a friend that I never could meet on his day off even after work. And not once did he ask me out. Listen, I know what it feels like to have insecurities and fears that can paralyze you, but I continue my duties as a wife to him and the kids. We have three children together, two boys and one girl I mentioned earlier. 

One afternoon I was off from my job but not my motherly duties. And he was getting ready to go out. My heartfelt heavy of course my husband and any wife will feel the same if you really care for your family. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, the pain was unbearable. My cry echoed in desperation, pleading for relief from the agony. I cried to GOD with a broken heart and during my broken-hearted prayer was the last thing I wanted to do in midst of my pain is when I needed GOD the most. And GOD was waiting on me to step out in faith and learn to depend on him. Every pain we experience serves a purpose. Our LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those with crushed spirits; it is written on Psalm 34:18. I made a simple prayer to GOD that day with tears running down my face. LORD, if it is your will send me somebody else that could make me forget all these things that are going on. Right there I was done with everything. How Jean was treating me, all the disrespect, and said LORD, just send me somebody else. Hold on there, remember that because things are going to be messy. The next day before I went to work, I went, and I had a talk with Jean about our marriage. He was telling how he was confused, and he did not know which one of us to choose. I couldn't help but think, "What in the world?! I am your wife!" So, I thought he was talking about the woman he left me for a year ago, but he was talking about that friend he kept telling him he is going out with, nothing is going on just friends. But I did not know the true story. And how I found out is when my faithful GOD opens my eyes to know the truth. 

One day Jean was sleeping, but I think GOD made him sleep. The Bible tells us in Mark 12:11 and Psalm 118:23 this was the LORD’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes? I called him with no answer, so his phone was in his hands and I touched the phone. Usually he would wake up. I have known him for 15 years. His phone is everything to him. Still not moving I took the phone and the phone was unlocked. Could you believe that tell me if that’s not GOD’s doing? Because it is written in Luke 8:17, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. There is nothing kept secret that will not come to light. And Jeremiah 23:24 Do you really think anyone can hide himself where I cannot see him? The LORD asks. Do you know that I AM everywhere? The LORD asks. When I opened it I saw a lot of inappropriate pictures, vacation pictures, etc. he's been doing all these things behind my back again. And that was the day I gave up on my marriage after 15 years. Friday, October 11, 2019. Okay back to the story where I mentioned I made a prayer to GOD. And I went to have a talk with Jean. So, while Jean was breaking my heart, I received a message from messenger hi, and I responded to the message hello. And after my conversation with Jean was over, I went to get ready for work. But I did not want to talk with the person really, I feared GOD plans for my life, and he never stopped texting, and I was very mean to him. On the following day, I called him and apologized. 

That is when I started stepping out of my boundaries, do not judge me. No one is perfect. 

So that man I saw at a prayer meeting that I went to. I was finished praying and while I was going to sit down my eyes fell on him and I heard a voice say you’re going to marry this man immediately. I bounded, voided, and rebuked the voice. He left the prayer early, but before he left, they prayed for him. I remembered the servant told him whatever you ask GOD for HE’s going to do it for you and said to myself he is a man of GOD. Because it is written in Psalm 66:18 if I regard iniquity in my heart the LORD will not hear me. WOW. 

After that prayer meeting, we saw each other a couple of times, and we exchanged numbers. We started to talk to each other every day. One day we decided to meet each other. We met while on our first date. It was fun and he was a very respectful man. He is visiting my church, and I am visiting his church too. During a period of 10 months of friendship, we fall in love with each other. We have been fighting with each other, agree and disagree. I appreciate how he supports me and respects me, even when I express negative emotions and say things I regret. And jealousy like we were in a relationship together, but we did not because the problem was, we were both in a marriage. By him being around me at the time I had found joy, and happiness that I was looking for in my marriage. I realize nothing can be one hundred percent perfect only GOD is perfect. JESUS says that no one is perfect except GOD.  1 John 1:8-10 and Ecclesiastes 7:20.

We both know we must follow GOD's plan for our life. We admit we were unfaithful, but it was very hard for us to part ways. Our connection was so strong that our silent bond spoke louder than any words. And that was our problem. And every day our love grows stronger and we both can feel it. It's like we were connecting. But we both know we need to obey GOD's words and laws. I have made the decision to surrender everything to God. How many times have you told the LORD that you surrender everything to His will, without realizing that you haven't truly surrendered everything? I was waiting on GOD and trusting in the process. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to trust in the LORD with all our heart and HE will make your paths straight. I always thought Jean and I were meant to be together. It is like I am trying so hard to hold on to this marriage, and it just felt like it was slipping away. I know you can’t really hold on to someone because the tighter you hold on to them the more, they want to slip away. All I can do is love Jean and make sure he knows that I am never going to slip away. Remember, if you love someone, set him or her free. If people are meant to be in our lives, they will return of their own volition. 

I admire Daniel in so many ways. The voice I heard in the house prayer that was GOD’s voice I am going to wait on HIS timing to bring Daniel back to me again. If it was not GOD that I heard that day I would ask GOD forgiveness and wait on HIS will for my life. 

Since Daniel and I separated ourselves from each other’s lives I’ve been through a lot of emotions. After a while I met someone else, an amazing man from the army for a few months because he had to go back again. After that, my searching for a new husband has continued. I never grow worried because I know God was trying to teach me something, and I am grateful for every last person I accounted for. I feel lonely even though I know God loves me. But I crave love from someone else, not because I don't love myself, but because it's a deeper kind of love. Adam felt alone and different from others. He longed for the love of someone like him, despite knowing that God loved him. Genesis 2.20 And Adam gave name to all cattle and to the fowl of the air, and to everyone beats of the field, but for Adam there was not found any help for him. So Adam needed the half just as I needed another half. It’s in human nature, and we can’t fight with it, because God created us with the desire.

My search for a new husband begins.

After my relationship with Daniel ended, my searching for a new husband continued, through prayer and supplication to God. If you asked, why do I need a new husband? Because I couldn’t burn with passion any longer. Read: 1 Corinthians 7:9, it says “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. So the word husband is found one hundred forty-five times in the old and new testaments total. I think God had a specific reason why He created man first. From this verse Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 you will see and understand the importance between the man and the woman. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 said two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not easily broken. That’s exactly why I was searching for a new husband. I realized I couldn’t do it on my own strength and desire. I need the help of God to guide me to the right path, so I can be able to make the best or the right decisions. There’s a wonderful verse that I like from the bible Jeremiah 33:3 it says“ call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Another one again is Joel 2:25, it says I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. These three verses kept me strong on my search, every time I wanted to give up, and I went back to the verses to recharge my mind about faith. So keep my faith in the Lord continually, it was not easy for me, doubt, discouraged, loneliness, anxiety, fears, overwhelming etc. I experienced all that at once. But the good news is I keep the faith and trust in God, and focus my eyes on him. So how many of you believe that God answers prayer, I do because He answered my prayer for a new husband. To receive blessings from God, you need faith, patience, discipline, devotions, vision, and determination. Without these, it will be difficult to receive your blessings. If you ask why? Because in the process there are temptations, confusions, lack of faith, etc. You need discipline and patience, vision and determination to hold you back in the process. In my search for a new husband some days I feel like giving up, but I remember that verse Matthew 7:7 says“ Ask, and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. And I was waiting for the door to be open. Not only that, I had believed it’s going to be open, I didn’t know when but God had known when that’s why I had kept my eyes and faith on Him with determination. I had never lost hope, yes, another hope. Having hope is crucial and a key element in receiving from the Lord. In the book of Hebrews 11:1, it states that faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. Also, Psalm 37:4 I really loved, it says Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. I keep praying about my new husband. I made a list to let God know hey that’s my desire from my new husband, even though I know God lists it better I still give Him mine, funny right. While I had a busy schedule, I forgot about finding a new husband. Surprisingly, my new husband found me without me even looking for him. It's truly amazing! When I met with Henry I doubted him, I wanted to make sure that he was sent by God. He’s not perfect but pretty good to me. I couldn’t complain at all; my God was faithful to me. At that time I felt like a woman again and the feel of Henry warm hands on my shoulders there are not enough words to express it, if I would go deeper, ladies and gentlemen. 

The happiness in my life is complete. Henry brought so much sunshine and laughter into my life. There’s a difference between being liked by a man or valued by a man. No matter how long it takes, true love is always worth the wait. I wanted a man who would spoil me with respect, loyalty, honesty, affection, and unconditional love. I want you to know don’t stay in a situation that’s not helping you grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I had found the love of my life. I used to doubt the love between man and woman, I always asked myself if it was true or real or worth it, now I discover it is pretty much real and worth it and more than we can think of. If we trust in God's timing. There is nothing more painful than loneliness, and my loneliness and anxiety are over. All we have to do is trust in the Lord and do good. Developing self-discipline is crucial since it acts as a powerful shield, providing invaluable protection. 

A reminder, God answers consistently prayer and never gives up praying about anything you really want. Also fight for what’s yours until it's time to let go. When it is time to let go, you will know and nobody else, but only you will know. 

God bless.